Changes in middle and high school CAN be positive. 5 bright spots
This week, I was interviewed for the Adam Was Mad podcast. It was so fun to chat with the host Michele about my own parenting journey and how it inspired me to start Reframe Parenting. (I’ll update with a link when the episode drops, I promise!). She shared some of her concerns as her child moves through elementary school that middle and high school might be even more challenging. I had those worries too when my kids were younger.
Elementary school - or primary school or whatever it’s called where you live - feels so insular and supportive. It’s kind of like a cozy cocoon for younger students and their parents. We know our kids’ teachers and the rhythm of elementary school well. We know what to expect. Middle and high school feels light years away with the big kids, big world concerns, social dynamics and even more potential pitfalls for struggling students.
How could this cute kid with no front teeth become a tween let alone a big, gangly teen? Those transitions happen for all of them eventually - and to us as parents too. And the changes brings so many questions. How will I as a parent be able to support them? How will they be able to navigate all it plus different classes and different teachers?
Yikes -it feels like a lot. But I’m here to tell you there are some good things coming too!
5 school bright spots as kids get older.
When it’s not perfect, they aren’t in that classroom all day long. For kids that struggle, teacher fit can be so important. A teaching style, the way the classroom is structured, how they manage challenges - these can have a big impact. The upside of having multiple teachers for these students? It’s a shorter time each day where they have to navigate a not-great fit in one class and then they get to move on to a potentially better fit in the next one.
Getting up and moving in between classes can be really helpful. Especially for those kids who need structure to succeed, it can be useful to have clear demarcations between classes. They know when it’s time to wrap up one class and move on to the next. No more guessing when the science lesson will be finished and math will start. They know what to expect and what’s expected of them as they transition between classes.
The actual physical act of moving their body in between classes is great too. For kiddos who need to move their bodies (probably all of them, but some really need it!), the opportunity to get up and move to another class is huge. It’s a mini physical re-set in between classes. They can stretch their legs, use the bathroom, or check in with a friend too. It allows them little windows of time to meet their own needs that they don’t get in elementary school when the transitions between subjects aren’t always as scheduled and they have to stay in their seats.
They get to explore their own interests and have some choice over which classes they take. Suddenly they have some amount of choice over at least their elective classes. They can explore something new and choose what classes are the best fit for them. Maybe weight lifting is perfect for some but yoga is a better fit for others when it comes to PE requirements. How they meet even core class requirements like language arts or math can vary too as they get older. Need a senior language arts requirement, you don’t have to take English 12 - try Hip Hop Literature (my high schooler is taking it next year - it’s a perfect fit for him). Having options is liberating!
There are more opportunities to succeed outside the classroom. Kids who struggle at school often don’t feel successful. They get a lot of negative feedback and it’s exhausting when things are challenging all the time. Everyone wants to feel successful and good about themselves and their abilities but that can be hard to achieve in class. In middle and high school, there are suddenly other opportunities for kids to shine. Student leadership, sports teams, clubs to explore new interests, arts and music to fill creative urges - it’s all there. Even outside the school walls, there are ways for them to find success, fun, and even spending money – like summer jobs or internships or volunteer opportunities.
If you’re an elementary school parent, I hope these 5 ideas give you some peace of mind in looking ahead. Parents of older kiddos, let me know if you have other things to add to this list. It’s a great Reframe reminder to look for some positives along this winding parenting journey.
