7 Warning Signs Your Child Needs More Support at School
As parents, we want our kids to excel at school, not just simply survive.
Spotting the signs that your child needs extra support isn’t always clear-cut though. If we are to be totally honest, sometimes we don’t realize that they do need additional help along the way. Subtle changes in behavior or academic performance can be easy to miss in the busy day-to-day of parenting. So let’s dig into some important warning signs that indicate your child might need extra assistance. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but knowing where they are struggling is the first step (and a big one too!).
To help you figure it out, I put together a list of 7 potential warning signs to help sort through the “pay attention now problems” and the “maybe keep an eye on it” ones. Have a look at the list and if you find yourself nodding your head in agreement, you’ve already gained some great insights. Knowing there may be a problem is a positive first step.
Academic Warning Signs
Homework is a daily battle
Struggling with homework is often one of the earliest or clearest indicators that your child may need additional support. Watch for signs such as assignments that should take a short amount of time but get stretched into hours, or regular frustration that leads to tears, meltdowns, and refusal. Notice if they aren’t understanding the material that’s already been covered in class or they proclaim “I just don’t get it!”. Is this a consistent pattern of homework struggles and not just a one-off? This may not be just an issue of procrastination, motivation, or smarts. Sometimes there’s a deeper reason for the struggle!
2. Falling grades
Everyone has an off day or a tough test now and then. But if you're noticing your kid's grades taking a nosedive across multiple assignments or subjects, it might be time to dig deeper. Is your math whiz (who used to breeze through equations) now bringing home D's? Is your literary genius (who used to ace book reports) now struggling to get a passing grade? Also pay special attention to patterns – like nailing the homework but bombing every test, or suddenly struggling in both science and math when they used to be strong subjects. Of course grades aren’t the only (not even the best) measure of school success, but they are clues that your child might be quietly wrestling with concepts while trying to keep up with the class. The earlier you catch the problem, the sooner you can figure out what's really going on and get them the boost they need.
3. Reading and Writing challenges
Does your child who loves books and being read to now do everything possible to avoid reading aloud in front of others? A younger student may be mixing up letters, skipping whole lines while reading, or taking forever to sound out words their classmates seem to read easily. From elementary schoolers skipping lines while reading to high schoolers taking twice as long to finish assigned chapters, reading challenges can show up at any age. In older students, watch out for signs like avoiding required reading for English class, struggling to keep up with longer textbook assignments, or having trouble pulling out the main ideas from complex texts. In writing, younger kids might struggle with letter formation or basic sentences, but middle and high school students might take hours to write short assignments, get overwhelmed by long papers and give up easily, or consistently score lower on essays than multiple choice tests.
Behavioral and Emotional Warning Signs
4. Changes in School Attitude and interest
Remember when your kid used to bounce out of bed, excited to get to school? If that enthusiasm has turned into daily battles just to get them out the door, you need to pay attention. Every kid has the occasional day when they don’t want to go to school and may just need a mental health day to get back on track. But if there’s a noticeable shift in their whole attitude toward school, that can be a red flag.
Watch for phrases like "school is stupid" or "I hate my classes" – especially if they used to enjoy those same subjects. Notice if their confidence as a student has taken a dive and they have become cynical about their ability to succeed at school. Other signs to watch for include refusing to participate in school activities or events they used to enjoy or showing anxiety about specific classes or teachers.
5. Social Challenges
Maybe your usually social child has taken to eating lunch alone, or they stopped seeking out times to meet up with friends. Watch out for struggles managing changing dynamics in friend groups or signs of bullying or exclusion. These challenges can happen regardless of academic performance, and they're just as important to address. Just like some kids need extra help with math or reading, others might need support developing social skills and confidence.
6. Emotional Signs
Pay attention if your typically easy-going child starts showing intense emotional reactions to school situations. Maybe they're getting defensive when you ask about their day, showing signs of perfectionism or experiencing anxiety or mood swings about school. For older students, watch for negative self-talk like "I'll never get this" or "I'm just not smart enough”or they start giving up on assignments or projects they used to find easy.
Note: This is not medical advice. If you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, please consult your pediatrician or other health care provider for guidance. In an emergency, please do not hesitate to call 911 or go to the emergency room.
7. Physical Complaints
Kids can’t always express their school-related stress, but their bodies sometimes do the talking for them. You might notice a pattern of physical complaints that seem to follow the school schedule: headaches that mysteriously appear on test days, stomach aches that strike right before a presentation, or feeling "too sick" to go to school but perfectly fine once they're allowed to stay home. Younger kids may experience regular Monday morning tummy troubles or make frequent trips to the school nurse. Older kids may have fatigue on school days, sleep problems, and symptoms that improve on weekends and school breaks.
Note: this is not medical advice. Please consult your doctor for guidance on addressing your child’s medical needs.
Taking Action: Next Steps for Supporting Your Child
Recognizing these warning signs is an important start! Every child faces school challenges differently, and needing extra support isn't a negative reflection of your parenting or your child's potential. Seeking help early can prevent small challenges from becoming big obstacles. Proactive action will save you time, frustration, and energy down the road.
Now empowered with this new knowledge, what are the next steps? Ask your child what they think is happening - in a kind and supportive way. No judgement or finger pointing, just thoughtful, gentle asking. Can they articulate what’s happening or how they are feeling? Do they have ideas for how to address the challenges? Opening the lines of gentle communication will give your child the confidence and security of being seen and heard without fear of judgement.
Reaching out to their teacher and/or school counselor is a solid second step. School staff see your child every day and can provide valuable insights into what they are seeing and might have already noticed some of these patterns themselves.
Remember, seeking help early on paves the way for your child because early intervention equates to long-term confidence and success in learning.
Now you don't have to figure this out alone. I provide individualized parent coaching to help you really uncover what’s happening and develop a plan of action to meet your child’s unique needs.
If you’re seeing any of these red flags, book a complimentary no-obligation time to chat. I can help you dig into the challenges, identify next best steps, and get you (and your child) on the road to school success. Let’s navigate this together. I look forward to hearing from you!
