Transitions are difficult for kids. 5 ways to make them smoother.
We’re about to finish the school year and everyone in our house is counting down the days. While there’s excitement, there’s also relief, and some trepidation too. I’ve seen this scenario before – just when you think your kid should be celebrating the end of the year, instead you get meltdowns, moodiness, fatigue, and irritability. No fun and not an ideal start to the summer. What’s a weary parent to do?
Why are transitions so hard for kids?
Humans are creatures of habit and we like our routines. We’ve been in this school routine for many months now and that feels both familiar and safe. Kids know what’s expected of them at school and with the teacher(s) they have currently. It’s all a known quantity and that’s soothing. No new expectations to figure out means less energy spent figuring that out. Most adults have their ways of doing things and rely on routines too. Who wants to be figuring out new things every day? It can be exhausting and takes up so much brain power.
Some brains have a more difficult time with change. Brains are complex and no two brains work the same way! For kids who have ADHD, even small transitions mean moving from one task/environment to another and they can struggle with all the stopping and starting. For kids with anxiety, there can be anticipatory worry about the unknown. Or they may fight the change because it’s unknown and therefore doesn’t feel safe. For those with sensory processing challenges, it’s a big switch for their nervous system. Kids on the autism spectrum also struggle with change in routines, loss of familiar settings, and predictability.
Adults get stressed from transitions too. (See #s 1 and 2 above - true for adults as well!) Sometimes even moving from work mode to home mode at the end of the day can be hard. Do you get grumpy or crave old routines when things change? Kids do that too, but they may show it in slightly different ways.
How to deal with these transitions?
Here are 5 strategies to try:
Plan for a quiet transition - what might help your unique child? Make space in the schedule to implement the plan.
Ask the teacher for ideas on how they can talk about transitions in class before the end.
Don’t overschedule, especially for the first few days
Ask your child how they’d like to manage the transition. Do they have ideas for what might make them feel most comfortable?
Keep communication open & be flexible if you need to change the plan on the fly.
Don’t forget that transitions happen all summer long. It’s not just the end of the school year, there are smaller transitions and changes of schedule that happen throughout the summer. Other summer transitions that can rock the boat at home include: day or summer camp, vacations, and time with extended family. Each of these transitions is a chance to practice communication, planning ahead, and patience with your kids about how they can best navigate the changes.
Wishing you all the smoothest of transitions this summer - and plenty of fun too.
