Traveling with kids is an adventure - 5 lessons learned
We recently returned home from a fun and frustration-filled family “vacation”. Note the quotes I’m using here. Traveling with kids is always an adventure, and rarely restful. So, as you can imagine, there were amazing moments and really challenging ones too. In some ways traveling with teens is light-years easier than traveling with young kids, but in other ways, it’s pretty darn hard. The bickering, the complaining, the unwillingness to try or do new things! Oy vey. Somehow we also managed some magical moments and hopefully those are what we remember.
We had mis-adventures, delays, much anticipated fun places closed when they shouldn’t have been, and sadly multiple cases of covid in our extended family. Now that we’re home, everyone’s healthy, I’ve tackled the post-trip mountain of laundry, and we’ve re-adjusted to our time zone, I’ve been thinking back on the trip with more rose-colored glasses. Not to get too smooshy about it, but there are some important take-aways from this vacation. I’m guessing they apply to a lot of family travel, so I’m sharing them here with you too. Whether your family travels far afield or close to home, weeks long or just a weekend, there’s plenty of love and learn from along the road.
Why is family travel worth doing? And what did I learn along the way?
It doesn’t have to be perfect. Well, this is true about all parenting, isn’t it?! But when it comes to a trip with kids, expectations are important. If you go into it expecting to have a relaxing and revitalizing vacation you may have been able to achieve pre-kids, you’ll be sorely disappointed. There are going to be hiccups (and sometimes large ones like full-on meltdowns on the airplane or kids refusing to eat new foods), but if we embrace the process warts and all, we’ll all be better off.
There’s always going to be good stuff to remember. No matter what those challenges end up being, there’s always some good stuff hiding in there too. Your kid initially refused to participate in an activity, but then did and had fun? That’s a win and I’m betting all they will remember is the fun, not the fuss. In retrospect, the fun things are what will matter to all of you. The frustrating stuff, well, it will make a great story to laugh at for years to come.
Family time is complicated and that’s OK. There could be an argument made that any trip with kids is just that, a trip, and not a vacation. It’s never gonna be easy. Period. But what if that’s just the way it is and we do it anyhow? Then we get to embrace those fun times when they happen. What if the kids spent too much time bickering with their siblings but they also had times they got along and you could see glimpses of a true relationship between them? That’s gold.
Planning for your (and your kids’) needs is important. What do you really want to do or experience on your trip? Just because you’re with the kids doesn’t mean you have to give up all your own interests or vacation desires. But you may need to adapt them and find ways to achieve them with the kids around. If you really want time at the pool reading your book, how can you get some of that? Or you’re craving a certain restaurant that isn’t what the kids would like, are there ways to make that happen?
Similarly, the kids needs need to be taken into account. What are they interested in and how can you incorporate that into the agenda? What else do they need to make it a successful trip - down time? A looser agenda than what you’d normally prefer? Time spent at a playground or stopping for ice cream on a long stretch of roadtrip? Everyone will be happy if their needs are being considered! Especially if any of you have sensory or other physical needs, make sure you plan for them in advance to avoid setting yourself up for problems. Get everyone involved in planning so they all feel heard and valued.Be flexible in the moment. Stuff’s going to happen. The best laid plans can go awry and sometimes in spectacular fashion. Airline misplaced your luggage? Kid’s iPad broke one hour into a long car ride? Had to stand in line in the hot sun for far too long? Now what? Adjusting on the fly is an important skill and sometimes a pretty difficult one too. Modeling flexibility in the moment for our kids is SO important. It helps me to remind myself this is what I’m doing. Somehow that makes it easier for me to stay calm when I recognize I’m setting an example in real time. “We’re just gonna figure it out - one thing at a time”.
Was your summer vacation full of fun or frustration? What have you learned through your family’s travels over the years? What would you do differently next time to help make for less stress and more success? Drop me a line and share your tips and tricks!
